Chronically Jill

Remicade/ Infiximab Infusion Day Reflections

Remicade infusion

Every 30 minutes
The pulse vibes through
my arm
wrapped tight to catch
the count
with the clock
on her wrist
and twitch
goes the pulse from
a finger
counting my numbers
for Remicade
a static
I am

Every hour
goes the medicine

the push carries it through
my veins
taped tight to keep
the needle from
coming out
on my wrist
from the purge with didn’t infuse
too small
I am

Every day
is the battle through thoughts

my brain unprepared to undress the layers
from tests and tubes
to MRIs and gels
in discomfort
I am

Every Thursday
I amuse myself with
dreams of
homes and renovations
that I build
on TV
I am

Every month
is the journey
unknown as the treatment
I am


Every pain
is living

through nerves
on them
you are
pushing the limits when I can’t
challenge myself


I am
I am

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